What If They Should Die Before I Wake?
This weeks lesson in Training a Wild Elephant is about the moment we are experiencing with others. Do we realize, are we aware that moments are fleeting and passing and gone. So too the precious people in our lives are gifts. They are here at the moment.
I am forced to think about things I don’t want to think about. To consider the emptiness without my precious loved ones – family and friends. I don’t tarry there long. And yet, these few moments of consideration help me remember:
- how blessed I am to know them
- how blessed to journey with them
- how precious the memories – much more valuable than the gifts
- how sweet the laughter, the jokes, the practical jokes, the funny stories
- how important are the big moments
- how significant are the quiet moments that would sneak by me if I wasn’t watching
- how much I learn from each relationship about life
What would life be without him, or her, or them? With that in mind, does it change how much time I will afford each one? What if they were gone in am when I wake up – would it change how I treat them tonight?
Are my priorities of time respectful of my value of persons?
My dad passed away over 20 years ago. Just the other day I thought of him as I used a cookbook he gave me. Before I could stop myself, or monitor my reasoning or harness my emotion, the thought passed though my mind and spoke clearly ” I miss you daddy.”
Funny enough, I never called him daddy. I wasn’t close to him actually. But my heart loved him. And whether he was here in person or not, and irrespective of the timing, my heart spoke.
I don’t want to lose anyone. I am almost always aware of the delicate balance of here and now and gone. It directs my behavior much of the time.
And still – this discipline reminds me to live with a healthy understanding of the now and a deep respect of the present which has already passed since I began writing this post.