When A Good Seed Goes BAD

THE FRIDAY FIASCO: Good seeds go bad.

I have been a health NUT all my adult life. 

I was into brewers yeast in late 70’s.

Anything but FAT content in the 80″s.

The 90’s meant a host of supplements, greens, juices and various teas.  Healthy me.


Around the TURN OF THE CENTURY (yes I am truly that old) I learned I needed fat (thank God)  and found out that when I do get old, I will wish I had eaten more ice cream and worn more purple, (thank Erma) so I started eating as much ice cream as I could get my skinny hands on.


                         SKINNY ME BEFORE ERMA

(Skinny me before i met Erma.  New me – too wide to fit on the page. But I wear a lot of purple!)

Other health updates in the New Millennium (HOLY MOLY OLD):

  •  Work less, love life
  • Don’t clean the bathroom with bleach
  • Eat less meat, more lentils
  • No more flour – only sprouts (Ask Davina)
  • Fresh fruit in the am
  • Eat lots of NUTS and SEEDS….

And that leads me to today’s lesson:



You may have heard many benefits to eating the famous FLAX SEED.
Grind it for bowel cleansing ~ Sprinkle it for nutty flavor ~ Mix it for variety in your seed melange.

My friends, ( I sound like John McCain – ooops), I trusted the seed.
I believed the propaganda.
But now I am warning you…EATER BEWARE – not all FLAX SEEDS came to the earth with good Karma.


While the “Bail Out” was only a twinkle in the Senate’s eye, one bad seed was on a mission.
Refusing to follow the crowd and eat toast or donuts for breakfast, I made myself a bowl of RED RIVER CEREAL.  Cooked to perfection I enjoyed my hearty porridge with some milk and raisins.  Pure Yum.

Until the truth was told. 

Within a day or so I noticed that the roof of my mouth was swollen, but since I am a health nut after all, and don’t favor running to the doctors office, I chose to ignore it in hopes it would “go away.”
Alas, after a couple more days the pain was increasing and I realized that something had lodged itself up inside my upper gum.  That something was a saucy flax seed that forgot the GOLDENZEN motto: “Do no harm.”   As the days passed, the swelling increased and my entire mouth, including back molars were aching like someone had a jack hammer in my mouth, excavating tender flesh and troubling the bones.

I couldn’t take it anymore.  I was getting sick of the pain, and SICK in my entire body.  The crazy seed infected my gum and left me SICK from being a health nut!  

What the fig newtons is that all about?

It reminds me of my mother, an RN, who works the night shift in a high stress ward.  She smokes, she eats junk, she rarely has fruits and vegetables and is addicted to sweets and pop.  SHE IS HEALTHY AS A HORSE!

This horse knows the secret

And then there’s me.  Goody two shoes.  Almost vegetarian, eats mostly fresh and natural foods, drinks the finest of coffees eats the darkest of chocolate…(okay, everyone has to have some vices,) and what do I get but a FLAX SEED ON A FLIPPING MISSION OF DOOM.  This kamikaze is still bearing it’s soul in my gum as I write, but not without a fight from me. 

(Oh Yes, I am a fighter.  Believe you me, and I have the scars to prove it!  FIGHT FIGHT…I may be down, but not out!  Whoops…again I digress)


On the weekend, when I could bear it no longer, I went to the clinic and begged the doctor to look and see.


He asked me if I could consider eating oatmeal in the future – like normal people .  He offered me a donut gum at.  (no chewing for me!)

Armed with ANTI-FLAX INVADER PILLS I have been waiting to feel better, and I’ll admit that tonight, I ate more than soup- I ate a sandwich.

But I am still fighting mad at FLAX and have started a non-profit organization called “HEALTH NUTS AGAINST SEEDS”  Watch for ads on your local television station.


I have asked that question many times in the past seven days.  I think I know the answer.

It’s the Friday Fiasco.
My life was a breeze until the FF.
First week in, Ginger gets stung by wasps and swells to new dimensions.                                                        
Last week, just to BOND with my readers and create a buzz of cheer, I wrote what I wasn’t grateful for.

I got me in so much trouble with the Universe

that I missed THANKSGIVING. 

That’ s right “My Friends”, (whoops, there I go again, I think I need a “CHANGE”), I didn’t get to go to the family dinner, and even tough they sent me leftover turkey – since I can’t chew or even GUM IT, regretably it has remained in the tupperware in the frig. 

Ginger says to pass it on to her, but I haven’t the heart.  She likes to remind me I don’t eat meat.  Whatever!

If I had only followed Alexys and been noble in my post, or Liara, and seen only the magic of beauty, I would not be in this painful pond of pity and platitudes…

Lord have mercy!

BEWARE.  Look out for those seeds that promise life, health and vigor. Watch out for the “good guys” who leave you writhing in pain and sorrow for your choices. 

Eat oatmeal instead and GO FOR THE FLAKES!

In the Grace of the Moment,

PS.  Okay, I’ll admit to a wee bit of political satire on the side.  But come on, give me a break.  What else was I to do with all this sick time?  I watched the pundits watch the candidates, who watched the polls, who bugged the people, who want answers.  🙂

PPS.  Don’t get fooled!  If you see one of these healthy, hearty seeds hanging about – eat ice cream instead! 🙂

Many thanks to the following websites whose photos helped tell this silly story.

http://www.kitchengardeners.org/2006/05/ – yummy!  http://bi0nic-eating-habits.blogspot.com/2008/03/snack-attack.html?showComment=1205972640000 – bless her heart, she REALLY NEEDS to read this story! :-), http://www.martialdevelopment.com/blog/cultivating-happiness-with-the-secret-smile/ – so funny, a blogpost suggesting we cultivate happiness with a smile, http://blog.pricegrabber.com/shopgreen/2007/11/14/the-turkey/ – go green blog!, http://www.oneplanetonesolution.com/shop/index.php/cPath/36_28?osCsid=gpin200ivo0psk1ktgbj14toe2 – healthy site for flax seed.


22 Comments Add yours

  1. Lance says:

    So…I should stay away from that flax seed I just ground up!! Non on my cereal today…I think I’ll just have eggs instead…

    Enjoy that leftover turkey when you get a chance Harmony.

    (and here’s to a quick recovery…)

  2. Julie says:

    Hi, Harmony. I found you at Writer Dad, this morning.

    I’m sorry you’ve been ill, but that was just so funny!—your writing, I mean. Love your wit, and am glad the seed didn’t get the best of it. Seriously, Thanks for the warning. I use both versions, but will likely ground my remaining whole ones.

    Be well soon.

  3. Friar says:

    I think the Flax was just applying its defence mechanism.

    Wow…if this were before the days of antibioitics, you might have died! (Seriously, people use to die from stupid infections all the time)

    Nasty grains…you CAN’T trust ’em.

    Hmph. This would NEVER have happened with Wonder Bread! 🙂

  4. Robin Birch says:

    That was so funny! Love the turkey – the picture, not the leftovers in your fridge.

    But it must have been so painful – I hope it gets better quickly – and I thought you had been having it off with a leather-clad cad.

  5. Steph says:

    Meh, I just take the flax oil, or grind it. 🙂

    My hubby and I have been veggies for about five or six years now, and juicers and organic eaters, too. I gave up wheat, dairy, sugar, and all manner of other things for a year.

    I have no miracle story to tell. Nothing much changed. I mean, sure, I wasn’t bloated and my panic attacks went away, and those were big things. But my skin didn’t become alabaster, etc. Needless to say, we’re not so picky about the food now (nor can we afford it anymore).

    In fact, I’ve found I seem to function better NOT eating so completely healthfully! My skin improves, I’m more regular, etc. Interesting…but I do admit, sugar, wheat, and dairy are poisonous for me and I can’t come close to eating as much as the average person.

  6. I hate to laugh at another’s misfortune..it isn’t nice…or charitable…but ROFL. Oh my poor poor Harmony. Flax seed OIL, dear. Comes in a nice pill, you pop it down your throat. But DON’T TAKE ONE ON A FRIDAY! It would be truly awful if you had to give yourself the Heimlich Maneouver.

  7. goldenzen says:

    ^/> Lance – grind them…or drink the oil. If you see a whole one just waiting for your mouth – run, man run!

    ^/> Julie – THANK YOU FOR VISITING. It was great to read your comment. You are always welcome

    ^/> Friar – I should have known you would be in the Wonder Bread camp! 🙂

    ^/> Robin – No man ever hurt me like that! 🙂 Don’t forget, I trusted the seed. (wink)

    ^/> Steph – thanks for your comments. Me too. I have found that although I tend to go organic and eat as life giving as I can, it all starts with what’s in my head and “soul” about health – thus my Mother. 🙂

  8. Miruh says:

    Harmony, good to see you came out with your humor in tact! The lesson here: Never suppose that anything armored like a flax seed has your comfort in mind?
    Thanks for the giggle, this Friday Fiasco is well on its way to healing with your attitude of taking the lighter side!
    Sending you warm healing love,
    Cheers, Miruh 😀

  9. Ellen Wilson says:

    Man, Harmony. First Ginger and then you. I think you’re bad luck has spent itself. That’s the thing about bad luck, you know it can’t last forever.

    That’s an awful cute picture of you. Must be all that good living!

    Yeah, propaganda is a bitter seed to swallow.

    I’m glad you’re feeling better and got yourself to the doctor! Take care now, and watch those damn seeds. E

  10. Marelisa says:

    Hi Harmony: I’ve read about flax seed all over the place and was just thinking of starting to eat them. Now I’m going to get the oil instead. Knowing me I would probably have taken a handful of the seeds and thrown them in my mouth. I’m like you: I don’t go to the doctor unless something starts to look really bad.

  11. davinahaisell says:

    Hi Harmony. I’m sorry you were ill, but honestly this account was hilarious! I LUV your wit. To quote Robin, “I thought you had been having it off with a leather-clad cad.”

    Funny, usually flax is known as the “good fat”.

    Thanks for the link. I miss gluten, but… there’s always chocolate… and ice cream! I put on 10 lbs over the summer as a new blogger stuck to my chair and cause… ahem, it was just too hot to not have ice cream 😉

  12. tobeme says:

    Interesting. Hope you are feeling better. Thanks for sharing this story and thanks for your humor through a tough situation.

  13. ^/> Miruh – yes, laughter is the best medicine!

    ^/>Ellen, I am telling you…I think the big U is giving me grief over Friday Fiascos! 🙂

    ^/>Marelisa- yes the oil works well, but I love seeds. However, they are best used by the body ground anyway.

    ^/> Davina, I really laughed writing it. The horse made me laugh in tears. Ice cream is the food for champions!

    ^/>tobeme – thanks for being a consistent friend. I sure appreciate your readership and participation.

  14. Evelyn Lim says:

    How hilarious! I was laughing away as I read your post.

    I hope you feel better. I guess I’ll skip the flax seeds for myself for today too!

  15. Hi Harmony – What a great story. My heart went out to you when you wrote of your pain.

    I like your final note – eat ice cream. Now that’s what I call a great idea. 🙂

  16. Simon says:

    Hi Harmony – I hope your recovery is preceding apace! So what exactly was the problem? Are flax seeds poisonous? Was there something wrong with this particular seed? Or have you developed an allergy?

    I’m a bit worried about these Fridays Fiascos of yours. I’m enjoying reading them but I’m hoping you make it as far as Christmas in one piece. It’s like ever since you launched the series, the universe has been providing you with a fiasco to write about every week. Maybe you should consult your doctor about your blogging schedule as well?

  17. Beth Partin says:

    Hey, Harmony, I’m reading this early on Sunday morning after being unable to sleep past 5 am because of random thoughts like “We’re going to lose the election!” So I got up and started surfing. Thanks for a laugh.

  18. This is a funny story that tickled my silly bone. Who knew flax could be so damaging? And I’m all for ice cream!

  19. I don’t think the fried eggs on avocado toast I had for breakfast today had flax seeds, but you can be sure I will be vigilant in looking out for them. But since I live on meat, bread and chocolate biscuits I shold be fine 🙂

    Take care.


  20. I don’t think the fried eggs on avocado toast I had for breakfast today had flax seeds, but you can be sure I will be vigilant in looking out for them. But since I live on meat, bread and chocolate biscuits I shold be fine 🙂

    Take care.


  21. Liara Covert says:

    This is a fascinating post. It reminds readers how they permit themselves to be brainwashed into believing what is good or bad for them at a given moment. It is always possible to step outside that, learn to listen to what your body tells you. Human beings often become conditioned to do what other people tell them is good for them. The process available for learning includes oportunities to relearn how to think for yourself. Imagine the implications!

  22. Thanks for your effort for posting “When A Good Seed Goes BAD GOLDEN ZEN”.

    Imight really be coming back for much more browsing and commenting here shortly.
    I am grateful, Chase

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