7 TOP TIPS ON HOW TO LET GO (pt 3 of series)

NOTE TO READERS: Due to the short week I had from my last weekend fiasco, the FRIDAY FIASCO post will not be available for this week.

(Part 3:The Art of BEING in my Own Business)
Thanks to the community of readers and commenter’s and a few thoughts from Ginger and me, we have created a series of articles about control.  We have discussed what is not in our control, what is in our control, and now – how to let go.

Have you ever tried to let go of: your child’s hand on a busy street, a $100 bill for a non-fat latte, a lotto ticket that has winning numbers, or an injustice suffered by your much beloved spouse on the job?  It’s not easy. 

Things get sticky, glued, tight, wedged, fixed, chained, hooked, pinned; life get’s stuck.

Well today is your “let-go” day!  Get ready to celebrate with my top seven suggestions for letting go without getting lost.


7. Write letters of release to those that have wronged you. 
Dear Sarah,
What you said in the staff meeting last month has been bugging the *&^% out of me and I have a few choice comments for you….

Once completed, read them over.  Laugh, cry, cuss or spit, but then, LET IT GO. (Don’t Mail It)

6. Clean out unrelated garbage and watch how YOU change.
Go for the garage, the closet, the trunk of your car, the storage locker or your desk drawer.  Clean it out; throw away what has passed, and give away excess and live light and lean, and then, LET IT GO.

5. Make a list of all the things you regret. 
Be thorough.  Go back to the list several times until it’s exhaustive.  Failed relationships, the shoes you should have bought, the house you lost, the job you passed by, or the kiss you stole.  Write how you feel about your regrets now, and then, LET IT GO

4. Call up loved ones and tell them how much they mean to you. 
Those closest to us can certainly give us reason to control.  But you’re on a LIG mission, so you want to give them permission to be themselves, while you are honoring yourself.  Love them for who they are, even if they don’t offer you the same in return, and then, LET IT GO.

3. Ask yourself and then write down what are the most meaningful things in your life  and next to the item write a number from one to ten, one being the minimum and ten the maximum.  How much energy do you invest in each of the meaningful items in your life?  Do you like what you see?  Is anything or anyone being neglected?  Focus on what is important in your own estimation and then, LET THE REST GO.

2. Decide that one day a week will be the day you focus on all the things or people which you are letting go.  On this day, you give thanks all day for the power in you to focus on what brings you life and peace and goodness, and to let go of all that hinders you in your life.  Keep a journal about this day – watch for progress in how you feel, and keep LETTING IT GO.

1. And the number 1 tip- BE TRANSPARENT.  Think like the wind or clouds and become that transparent.  What comes at you, simply finds no resistance.  You allow it to come, and go, without judgment or the need to censor.  You just watch it, as though you are an observer of your feelings and actions, and decide to be without resistance.  You can choose to allow others to be themselves without it defining who you are, or what you are worth, and then you can LET IT GO.

Of course, we would all love to hear your tips.  How do you find the moxy to let it go today, and when it comes back later on to see if you changed your mind?

In the Grace of the Moment,



26 Comments Add yours

  1. davinahaisell says:

    Hi Harmony. I adore #3! Listing what is meaningful and how much time is being invested in those areas. This makes it easy to see where you are lacking or obsessing. Thanks!

  2. Hi Harmony – I love the beach photo. I envision myself in one of those hammocks. Nice!

    I love your last point – be transparent. That’s so important. When we’ve learned to be transparent, we can let go of all those preconceived notions, ideas and expectations others have of us. It makes life a lot easier to live.

  3. surjit says:

    The last point is very crucial and important:
    ‘…You allow it to come, and go, without judgment or the need to censor. You just watch it, as though you are an observer of your feelings and actions…’
    We need to inculcate in ourselves the above quality in case we really wish to learn… LET IT GO….

  4. Kathleen says:

    I needed this today so glad I found it..My children have left the nest and on thier own find it so ard to let go
    Thanks my friend!

  5. I pretty much don’t cling to anything negative anymore. Life is way too short. However, I have to admit, the opportunity arose the other day to poke fun at a situation that had caused me a bit of distress, and BOY IT FELT GOOD! Okay, it was slightly evil but BOY IT FELT GOOD! I am now returning to my usual goody-two-shoes self, but BOY IT FELT GOOD!

  6. Harmony says:

    ^/> Davina, for some of us seeing the “stats” on the paper makes it very clear – holding on is hurting us and not helping. PS. don’t stay up so late waiting for my new editions 🙂

    ^/> Barbara – if that isn’t a pic of letting go…I don’t know what else could be. Eckhart Tolle does a great job of describing the beauty of transparency.

    ^/> Surjit, becoming that transparent is like the butterfly in metamorphosis.

    ^/> Kathleen- really good to see you here. I too have gone the empty nest route and found myself wondering who I was NOW. Many blessings to you and hope to see you again.

    ^/> Urban Panther – Ah, excuse me. I don’t believe poking fun was on the list! Oh, I see you are adding to the list. Why am I not surprised? It feels so good to see your name arrive on Goldenzen. Thanks for being my friend. You did finally quit poking and let it go…..right?????

    Thank you to all the really late nighters or early amers who left comments already!

  7. @Harmony – oh yes, yes I did! You betcha. Let it go for sure. For full details see my post for this Friday.

  8. Lance says:

    Hi Harmony –

    What a wonderful list of ways to let go – sometimes it’s just so hard to do. I really like the idea of a list of the most meaningful things in our lives. What a way to see if you’re really putting your efforts into what matters most!

    My addition to the list: getting outside and doing something – pretty much anything. It’s just something about being outside that is releasing for me. Maybe just walking around the yard. Or a bike ride. Or a run. They all help to clear my mind and, at least, help me in letting go of things I don’t need to hold onto.

  9. Beth says:

    That is a really great post. I think I want to spend some time this weekend writing a template for #7. I’ll post it when I have it ready.

  10. Robin says:

    Hi Harmony – great advice – we all need to let go of those things we REALLY don’t need.

  11. goldenzen says:

    ^/> Lance – you hit one of my all time favorite ways of rebalancing myself – get in the woods!

    ^/> Beth – do that! I would enjoy hearing what you have to say.

    ^/> Robin- Thanks for always dropping me a line here. I so appreciate your support.

  12. Hi Harmony,
    I really like number 1. The whole concept of being transparent is inspiring. It reminds me of the substance Teflon; nothing sticks to it.

    As we go through life we can also think of ourselves as being invisible – there, but not there.

  13. Miruh says:

    Great post Harmony! #6 has always worked for me. When I clean my closets, there’s always a feeling of inner spaciousness after it’s done. It also works the other way around, when I feel spacious inside, the clutter in my outside space does not work! Thanks for the tips!

  14. Harmony says:

    ^/> Alexys – I guess it is simply not being invested in the outcomes or advances around us. Teflon…good one! NON STICK.

    ^/> Beth – Perhaps it’s easier in the Mile High City to let things go..the air being thinner and all!

    ^/> Miruh – inner space…nothing like it! Thank you for being here Miruh.

  15. Liara Covert says:

    Learning to ‘let go’ is such a valuable skill. This is an ability each person has. Your tips encourage people to explore aspects of their inner power they may have forgotten. You also inforporate uplifting images into your post. Well done!

  16. goldenzen says:

    Thank you. I appreciate your comments.

  17. Hi. I am a first time reader of your blog and it is insightful. This posting echos the mantra “What you resist persists” and “Let go and Let God”. Thank you for the practical application.



  18. goldenzen says:

    Defying Gravity- Great to “meet” you. Please come by anytime!

  19. Christopher Grasse says:


    Caretaking. That is the word which comes to mind when I look at what I own. Caretaking all of it, day by day. What an investment of my energy! There must be a better way. And there is. I keep an open cardboard box in our back hall always waiting to be filled up with things I no longer use nor need. It all began in our attic. You have to go and sit quietly in the cluttered space (wherever it is) and allow yourself to just be neutral about everything you see.

    What happens after a little while is you begin to notice a lot of this stuff you are keeping or hanging onto is no longer you anymore. It was gathered by someone you used to be. I don’t know how many times I have smiled at how crazy I was to have gathered things when I am clearing out clutter. Was it really necessary to own 27 standard office manual typewriters? My gosh, those were heavy, and they were in the attic! Our whole house gave a sigh of relief when all of those were placed back out into the local community with new owners. Some areas will be so packed in as clutter, it will dazzle your mind. You won’t see any way to break it apart and dismantle it, but stay with it.

    I call this “Dismantling the Ark.” Just draw up a chair and keep glancing at it because your eyes will suddenly spot something you know you can let go of. It wil go from there. Nothing bad will happen to you. Letting go is a way of expressing gratitude for all the blessings in your life. All you will feel is a tremendous sense of relief. Every day I try to find a few things I am finished with owning and keeping. Out they go. New homes for all!

    Letting go brings a deep sense of contributing to and connecting with others. We have all this stuff around us that just sits and sits and it drains our energies. When you begin to move these dormant possessions out of your home your begin to feel healthier and more vital. It really happens. I hope my post will encourage someone to begin letting go. Submitted by Christopher Grasse in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. on June 20, 2010. Good Luck to a healthier you – !

  20. tari brand says:

    Beautiful blog. Letting go is crucial to a full,joyful and stress-free life. Funny how it takes some of us forever to figure that out! Check out my blog too http://celebrationofnow.wordpress.com/

    Thanks again

  21. It’s really a great and helpful piece of info. I am happy that you simply shared this helpful information with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

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