When is it my Business?
In our introduction to this series, we discussed the idea around CONTROL or
the feeling that somehow we are in charge of our surroundings. In fact, we are not really in control of all that much!
What we do control (or what is our business) is ourselves from the inside out (at least partly), and that is the topic of discussion for today.
Here are 5 things I can list that are my business, and therefore to some degree, are in my control.
1. How I feel about going to work in the morning.
2. How I respond to unfair criticism
3. How I choose to relate to my neighbors
4. Where I spend my grocery money
5. What I say I want when I am asked, “what would you like?”
Let’s take a closer look:
How I feel about going to work in the morning:
Here is the truth of the matter: I don’t really dig going to a job in the morning. I much prefer my work at home lifestyle. But, due to unforeseen circumstances, there have been times when “I owe, I owe, it’s off to work I go!” has been my theme song. How I feel when I go to the closet, slide my jacket on, and grab the keys as I head out the door, is totally mine to own. I can be grateful for the opportunities I have to make some progress and learn while I do, or I can choose to be miserable because I hate the job, and suffer my way through. It is my business.
I read a wonderful post this week by a woman who was discussion intention. She offered to the readers that one of her daily practices was to offer 85 “Rakas”, or intentions or prayers for her neighbors. She intended that gentle rains of blessing would be theirs. She said she never has to work on peaceful relations with them, because after you pray for them every day, with 85 repetitions, YOU are peace.
No one can drive me crazy. It is my business to choose, and I can choose to hate, resent, bear grudges, be intolerant, be rude or to ignore, if I want to. That is my business.
(Of course, I can choose to enjoy also.)
I personally have struggled with this one most of my life. I remember when I was married and raising children, my husband would be driving, and the kids would be in the back seat of the mini van.
“Where would you like to go to eat,” he would ask respectfully. You could hear the kids sigh in the back seat. They knew we were in for a ride- and not in the van! “Well, I don’t really care. Let’s go where you and the kids want to go,” I replied with modesty and charm.
“Okay, Dad, let’s go to Burger King!” My daughter loved the fast food joints. My immediate response was, “Oh honey, not tonight.”
“Anyone for Denny’s?” Silly husband suggested. He thought I really meant it when I said I didn’t have a preference. He assumed that when I said, “not really”, it meant not really.
I remember years of me not saying what I wanted when asked because I wanted to please others, but really, I didn’t want to take responsibility for pleasing myself. I wanted someone else to do that for me. The unspoken deal was this: I please you – you please me.
Taking the time to be honest, to say what I want when I am asked is my business.
IT’S YOUR TURN
You must have some “doosies”. Let’s save the ‘What’s not my Business’ for next time, and this time, share your list of ‘What is my business’. We could learn a lot from each other.
In the Grace of the Moment,
PS. Interested in learning about TRIPLE WIN STRATEGY? Learn how business is being reshaped through consumersim to global citizenship. Find out how at one of my other blogs: THE BEST LIFE blog for business.
Many thanks to Lynne at flickr for the money photo. See her photostream at http://www.flickr.com/photos/your_teacher/1040476355/ And thank you to Casey Broadwater for the photographic look into a “neighborhood.” See her work at http://www.flickr.com/photos/thewoodstove/