What if we Lost Our Ability to Choose?

My local CHOICES MARKETI shop regularly at a grocery store in my community called Choices Markets.  They carry organic foods and supplements, herbs and oils, recycled toilet tissue and imported bamboo clothing.  They even offer electric scooters to save fuel and nowadays, big bucks.

I make a choice to spend a bit more money now on staples, to help me and my global environment stay healthier long-term.

But, my choices have changed over the years.

When I was a child, I chose Mac D’s a lot!  Bring on the Trans fat!

Then as a young adult, I joined the movement for low-fat. 


I bought Cooking Light magazines, years of them and saved them all.  I cooked everything from Alfredo sauce to homemade ice cream – with no fat.  I was an ANTIFAT.

I have since gone on to juices, raw food, vegetarianism, and Ayurvedic.  You name it; if it claims to be healthy, I have probably been there.

It’s a series of choices.

Which way is my choice?
Which way is my choice?





Choice is the signpost of freedom.  Those who are free can choose. 
In times of great stress, they can choose calm.  In economic trouble, they can choose abundance.  In heated conversations, they can choose peace.

Choices are result of responsibility.  Those who are not responsible are not free.  Those who are free are responsible to choose and to be held accountable for their choices.

Last week readers participated in a fun research project where I asked them: would they choose to suck on lemons?  Many said yes.  But when I asked if they would marry for money, it created a bit of a stir.  Morally would it be right?  Or could they say how they really felt with it being public and all?  Some even wrote to me personally discussing love and money.

Life is what happens when we are making plans!
Life is what happens when we are making plans!

Our choices in life are challenging and exhilarating. 
We have a right to change our choices.

We can change our minds.  In fact, we better change our minds. The more you learn, the more you will change the choices you previously swore you would never change. 


And this is where we can get stuck.

We can chose to learn and change and be responsible for that change, or we can stubbornly insist we were right when we made the choice – and if it was right for us then, it is right for us now.
Yesterday’s choices may not be right for today.  Can you allow yourself to make new choices?

Let me give you some examples:

  • Maybe you swore that you would never read the newspaper and fill your minds with such garbage.  And then, you got a job as an editor of the local paper.  What now?
  • You told your daughter she had to sleep with diapers on.  She is now 13.  What now?
  • You swore you would never speed in the car, and now your wife is having a baby in the passenger’s seat.  What now?


Being present and learning to live in the wonderful now is a state of grace that allows for change.
The galaxy is constantly expanding, and so are you.  Maybe it’s time to check in with yourself and see if you still like the choices you made yesterday, or a decade ago?  

Only the beginning of the universe...imagine!
Only the beginning of the universe...imagine!


I love the way Byron Katie deals with this idea in her “work.”  Recently I saw her working on an intimate challenge with Oprah.  Oprah was struggling with resentment she felt towards relatives that repeatedly asked for money.  She felt that the relatives were disrespecting her by continually coming back for more.  Katie suggested that in fact Oprah was the one disrespecting herself and others by choosing to make decisions for which she didn’t want to be responsible.  If her choice in the moment was “no,” she alone was responsible to make it. 

I am guessing you too have updated previous choices to accomodate new moments. This community could benefit if you would take a moment to share your story.  Have you had to make new choices you thought you would never make?

In the Grace of the Moment,



22 Comments Add yours

  1. Robin Birch says:

    Hi Harmony – I have often updated my choices – maybe it’s because I’m a Gemini! hehe

    One example from my life that springs to mind is that my partner and I handle money in a different way from how i thought we would (sorry to not be more specific). I’ve found that the relationship has developed in ways I would not have expected, so the best way of operating is not what I would have expected.

  2. Ellen Wilson says:

    I used to think it was a sign of weakness if I changed my mind. I don’t feel that way so much anymore, but sometimes I still feel the pangs of it.

    Of course the universe is moving and you must continually move with it. To stay stuck in one thing is not to move but to cling to something a pattern, and then you suffer. I have to say I struggle with this. And struggle is an apt word because the difficulty is with my own mind!

    It is nice to visit here Harmony and read your words. I find them comforting.

  3. mergingpoint says:

    wonderful contemplative exercise!

    probably, i would call it accept and adapt than to say choose. In choice, there is always two sides. so to choose one is to reject the other. then the problem starts. But to accept and adapt to the flow, to tune in is more appropriate.

    yes, have had great experiences of tuning in to the flow. this lets one to know the tricks of the mind and never be caught in the game of choosing..learning goes on with the tuning in …

  4. goldenzen says:

    Hi Robin! Sounds like you made a choice to be flexible, to go outside a comfort zone, to put the people and money in perspective.
    Thanks for sharing – even if you do have two heads. :-)))

  5. goldenzen says:


    You speak for all of us I think to some degree or another.
    We have a lot of identity wrapped up in our choices – much being the self identity we need to feel in power.

    Letting go of choices I have made and working with the choices at hand have created some big time emotional stress in my life at different times.

    But everyday is a choice. Today we chose to be transparent. Grateful to you….

    “I am another You.” (Mayan greeting)

  6. goldenzen says:


    Always good to be in your presence. If I may reflectfully say, even in going with the “flow”, you chose not to remain rigid, and not to reject, but to allow yourself to do just that, go with the flow. 🙂


  7. I am currently reading the great book “Your Erroneous Zones” by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I don’t agree with every sentiment – but I do feel it is one of the most powerful and effective self improvement books ever written. (I’ve read it once before)

    One of the lessons he tries to drill in over and over again is that how we feel is not dependent upon other peoples actions. We tell ourselves how to respond to the behavior of others. If what we tell ourselves now makes us upset and unhappy – we can tell ourselves something different and not feel those negative feelings.

    In essence we have the power to choose how we feel and that is not in the hands of others, but our own hands.

    It’s a great inspiration for me.

  8. Harmony says:

    BAMBOO FOREST Wow…it’s been awhile since I read that one! 🙂 It reminds me of one of the first books I read that pointed me clearly in the direction of personal choice: The Road Less Travelled. Thank you for you helpful comments.

  9. mergingpoint says:

    Wonderfully said Harmony!!

    One can only be available and allow the flow to happen..
    In choosing, there is always a rejection to otherside. But in tuning in, there is no choosing and hence there is no rejection too.. That is the way it is…

  10. Liara Covert says:

    Another question you could ask is, ‘what if it is not possible to resist choosing?’ You could take the view that choice or free will, is one of the things that makes a human, human.

  11. Hi Harmony,

    I like the fact we can change our mind. What worked yesterday, may not work today, and it’s often because the circumstances aren’t the same, and we may have learned we chose wrong.

    When I look at choices, my core values are the first things that come into play.

  12. goldenzen says:

    ^/> Mergingpoint- Thanks so much for your inpput. You are so right.

    ^/> Liara, Exactly. Without choice we are at a totally different level of consciousness.

    ^/> Barbara – Yes, and what worked yesterday was based on yesterdays information. We are learning more everyday.
    Thus, I have learned ( I think) to never say never. 🙂

  13. Simon says:

    I think it’s a balancing act. If we’re continually questioning the choices we’ve made, we will find it hard to focus on what we’re doing. But we also need to be open to change those choices when the need arises. After all, the world around us is constantly changing, so if we’re stuck and immovable, there’s inevitably going to be tension. Stubborn attachment to a choice is the same as any other attachment: it gets in the way of life.

  14. Evelyn Lim says:

    I am in the midst of learning how to hold myself back and not make hasty choices. My habit is to dive right into things too fast. Rather, I need to go with the flow of things and make a decision only when the next step that appears to be in alignment with my Higher purpose seems clear. I trust that the Universe or my spiritual guides will also let me know when it is time to make a choice.

    I love your article. It is important to make choices. The best choice that anyone can make is to live fully by being in the present right this moment!

  15. surjit says:

    A good point to introspect.Not only choices, our thinking/priorities too change with our age, experience etc.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Good luck.

  16. goldenzen says:

    ^/> really good point SIMON. I have had the “indecision” gene most of my life, and it can really statemate success. Your thoughts on balance are absolutely necessary.

    ^/>Evelyn- I had an interesting thing happen the other day. I was at a bookstore where I was trying to choose the best books of the HUGE pile I had in front of me. Which one was best for the moment. I chose 3. One, after coming home and doing a bit of research, was written by a very famous writer that had been utterly debunked as a fraud and whose lifestyle reflected choices I would not want to make. I had taken time, listened, and moved forward…only to want to take the book back! AH…the power of choice….and regret. 🙂

    ^/> Surjit, that is so true. Age and stages in life create completely different needs and thereby intentions. Thank you for sharing!

  17. Hi Harmony,
    I think what we have to remember is that our choices change as a direct result of our consciousness. What we may have chosen years ago, we would never consider today.

    Like you mentioned, the key is taking responsibility for our choices and learning how to choose wisely for our evolution. 😀

  18. Marion says:

    Ohhhh, never say never! Life can change so quickly! I once said I would never move away from the Ocean…and guess what happened.

    At a time in my life where I thought I was settled for good, an opportunity arose in the interior of BC, far away from the Coastal waters. And because I strive to listen to my spiritual guides/intuition, I was absolutely convinced the move was the right one.

    But I had a choice or free will. I could have chosen safety and what I knew well over the adventure this move created, turning down an entirely different road, had I done so.

    I’m glad of the choice I made.

  19. goldenzen says:

    ^/> Alexys – you have said it precisely.

    ^/> You are so right Marion. Every choice is another road or reality for that matter. I am so glad you are loving the one you are on…and that you share it witht he rest of us.

  20. Friar says:

    “The galaxy is expanding at the speed of light…”

    I assume you mean that figuratively, and not literally.

    (Because from an astronomy point of view, that’s just totally wrong!)

    Sorry…(sometimes the Science Geek part of me gets out…!)


  21. goldenzen says:

    FRIAR – it was figurative…but I see your point…I am a science nut myself….so in honor of the Friar, it is changed…the galaxy is no longer the same. 🙂 THANKS

  22. Friar says:


    Awww…I didn’t expect you’d have to change things because of my comment.

    Don’t mind me…I have no problems with figures of speech and such. Just that I saw something scientifically innacurate, and I wanted to discuss it.

    Glad to see that you don’t literally believe we’re expanding at the speed of light, though!

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