Comments on: Are You BIG Enough To Take Up Space?

By: goldenzen

goldenzen — Thu, 29 May 2008 05:13:58 +0000

In fact Simon, I think we actually do things and say things to get others to act a certain way, so that inwardly we can confirm to ourselves that we indeed are who we always feared we would be.
Thank you for your thoughtful entry. I know this disease well, and appreciate your perspective…it helps.

By: Simon

Simon — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:37:45 +0000

Thanks, Harmony. This quote from Eleanor Roosevelt is very true. It is how we feel about ourselves – not what others think about us – which is really important. If we feel bad about ourselves, then we are always looking for the approval of others to try to convince ourselves that we’re wrong. But if others are not impressed with us – or even if we *think* they’re not impressed – then we take this as confirmation that we were right all along!

As a longstanding people-pleaser, I’ve come to realize that this is what is going on with me – as I think it is with a great many people. I have deep-seated very negative feelings about myself! But I know that knowing they’re there is the first step towards freedom…

By: goldenzen

goldenzen — Wed, 07 May 2008 04:08:29 +0000

@wendikelly – YOU ARE BIG ENOUGH! What is so valuable to me is more than the words really, it is the essence behind the words. It glimmers.

@Barbara- oh yes, well said. I didn’t need my whole article, that quote would suffice nicely.

By: Barbara Swafford

Barbara Swafford — Mon, 05 May 2008 17:31:29 +0000

Hi Harmony,

This reminds me of a saying I heard years ago along similar lines. “you can’t be a doormat, unless you throw yourself in front of the door”. So true!

By: wendikelly

wendikelly — Mon, 05 May 2008 13:35:59 +0000

Harmony,

I just wrote a post about this last week called “Having Faith.” Something that I was listening to at Joanna Young’s site just got me to thinking and I ended up writing about it.

We sometimes forget that what we have to say, might just be the thing that someone else needs to hear. We need to have faith in ourselves and our writing. Our words ARE important and what we have too say is valuable.

This post was very valuable. I thought for years that I just wasn’t a good enough writer or more importantly that I just didn’t have enough life experience, I was too young, I didn’t know enough, or that no one would listen to me.

Thanks. I want to be big enough.

By: goldenzen

goldenzen — Mon, 05 May 2008 03:25:55 +0000

@ Melissa,
I sure do hear you. But there is new readers with fresh minds and a new you everyday. I just finished watching Disney’s “Waterhorse” – I laughed, learned about human suffering, cried at unconditional love and admired the act of letting go. PLEASE, bring more life changing fiction to life.

@liveforever – and I am holding space for you to do just that. When it’s your time you know it, and only you can fill it.

Thank you both for adding to this journey.

By: liveforever

liveforever — Sun, 04 May 2008 09:07:27 +0000

I have some things I am aiming for (I don’t want to write them in a public forum at the moment). Recently I caught myself thinking I will just get into a position where I am supporting someone else in doing those things, so I can learn the ropes.

Then I realized I have been supporting people in “those” positions for YEARS! I know a lot about the field! My self-perception just hadn’t got there, in that area. So I am intending to start small so it won’t be too scary – but it’ll be starting soon.

By: Melissa Donovan

Melissa Donovan — Sat, 03 May 2008 19:52:56 +0000

What a great post! I got lucky when I started my business. It built my confidence considerably rather than having the reverse effect.

I believed that everything worth writing was written by someone better, with more knowledge and skill than I could ever hope to acquire.

However, this is how I still feel when it comes to fiction writing. I feel like everything has been done already and after getting about a month into any project I sort of give up. I have to change my fiction attitude!

By: goldenzen

goldenzen — Sat, 03 May 2008 17:13:40 +0000

@ Liara: You just reminded me of a permission slip my parents had to fill out for me to miss school, and consequently I did for my children. Permission given. And just as you have mentioned, when we see the pattern in our lives of giving permission to others to influence how we feel or respond, our NOW response is not judgement, but recognition and gentle movement elsewise. THANK YOU.

@tobeme- the comparisons certainly do imprision us. I am reminded of the racer, who, constantly looks over his shoulder to see if his competitor is closing in, and therby uses vital energy he needed to make it to the finish line first. I value your visits, thanks for your attention and commenting.

By: tobeme

tobeme — Sat, 03 May 2008 16:13:00 +0000

Harmony,
Thank-you for a very well thought out and powerful post! You did a great job at teaching us to realize our power and that we are in control of our power by our perception and that by comparing ourselves to others we stand at risk of losing sight or our true self. Thanks.